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(DISCLAIMER:I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'LL DIE OR SHIT IF YOU DO IT, DON'T GO OUT SAYING ITS NOT REAL AND DOING IT TO SPITE IT thats how almost all hauntings start)

 ~!!DONT DO THIS EMO KIDS!!~

 ~!!!DO NOT FUCK WITH POWERS BEYOND YOUR UNDERSTANDING !!!~

Stand in a room with no light at all and say "I seek the truth beyond the veil" three times. After exactly seventy two hours no matter where you are you will suddenly feel as though you're being watched. This feeling will persist for another seventy two hours at which point no matter how far you may have gone or where you are you'll feel as if someone is coming to find you. The next time you're completely alone in any completely dark room you'll hear six knocks on the door once every hour until you open it. When you do you'll find that it leads to a place you've never been with almost no light and a distinguished looking man in dark clothes standing a few feet away. Once he sees you he will tip his hat in greeting and stand there waiting for you to speak. If you ask who he is he will say "I am one who dwells in darkness.", if you ask why he's there he will respond "You called so I came.", if you ask where you are he will say "You are in my world.", and if you ask for the truth beyond the veil what he says will shatter your perceptions of reality leaving you completely insane until your mind has fully digested his response. If you live long enough afterwards to understand he will visit again, this time knocking only once. If you don't answer the door he'll come back the next day until you do. When you answer he will grant you one request with the only exception being that you can never forget what he told you, provided you agree to one term. That is that in exactly one years time when he visits you again you will return with him to his world and become another one who dwells in darkness. Thus far no one has asked for anything but to not have to wait the entire year. Whenever a person who's committed to an asylum from extreme hysteria, hallucinations, delusions, and various other mental issues suddenly wakes up one day completely lucid and calm with an air of otherworldliness to him or her, it's said they're the lucky ones who survived. Most spend the rest of their lives screaming incoherently and muttering things in unknown languages. Others kill themselves shortly after the visit. And a rare few wake up a few days later as if nothing had happened at all but with full knowledge of what the one who dwells in darkness told them and with full knowledge of the unspeakable horrors their minds endured while they were asleep. Those few who never answer the door out of fear are found eventually starved to death and with an expression of sheer terror on their faces. Of course there's those that block out the memory of what they're told entirely, they still receive the second visit, however, they must grant the one who dwells in darkness's request. Only three people have survived granting it and they were left completely without emotion or rational thought spending the rest of their exceedingly short lives rocking back and forth, never speaking never sleeping never eating or drinking.

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

LIBERALISM: You have two cows, one has gender reasighnment surgery and stops producing milk. When you try to sell it, it whines to the ACLU and a thousand greedy lawyers sue your ass. You lose your farm and have to hand it over to the other cow. (i lol'd)

NIHILISM: You have two cows. You don't care

ORWELLIANISM: You have two cows. They kill you and organize their own self-sufficient form of government.

ZOROASTRIANISM: You have two cows. One completely good, one completely evil. At the end of time, they battle to the death.

4CHAN: You have two cows. One gets gender reassignment surgery and no longer produces milk, and the other cow ridicules the first cow.

4chan-ism: You have no cows, enjoy your hat.

EBAUMSWORLD: you have no cows. Steal 2 cows from your neighbours.

DENIAL: You have two cows,. When the government taxes your milk, you hide them and claim to have a spotted table.

RASTAFARISM: You have two cows. One of them eats your weed. You kill the bitch.

SPARTA: You have 300 cows.
SPOILERS: 299 of them die.

CANADIAN GOVERNMENT: You have two cows. The government takes their milk and puts it into bags.

RUNESCAPE: you have 2 cows. You sell them for paper hats

HENTAISM: You have two cows. At night, they transform into hot, 18 year old women with huge hooters that decide to "milk you" in payment for you milking them during the day. Everyone wins.

Buddhism: You have two cows. You can't do anything but let them shit on your lawn.

POLAND: You have two cows. And nothing else.

Powerlevelism: The number of cows you have is OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAND

SPIDERMANISM: you have 2 cows. They both forget how to shot milk

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. They both milk you.

Wilford Brimleyism - You have two cows. They have diabeetus too.

SAGEISM: You have two cows. They are ugly so you bury them.

HINDIISM: You have 5 trillion cows, shitting on your porch.

Delusionalism: You pretend to have two cows. You make up a marriage certificate verifying that you're married to one of them. Then you post horribly shopped pictures of you and "wife" on an internet forum, where people actually believe you.

DRAGON BALLISM: You have two cows. And their power level is OVER 9000!!!

FAMILY GUY: Wow, this is just like that time I had two cows and lived on Gary Coleman's farm with Optimus Prime wearing Zubaz and slap bracelets playing Tamagotchi next to Jane Weidlin who Margo Channing Doom 3 Reptar New Coke Margaritaville Boutros Boutros-Ghali Weigght Watchers Dwann of the Dead Hummveey bArt Simzon ciTizeon kaRRne Dworth VargerisAascaoisimvhummmpspee.

Gggggggggmm. Jickksznorman. Barggbytieets.

MOTIVATIONALISM: you have two cows, you take a picture of them then you put a black border and a caption about them under it

MCDONALDSISM:
1. You have two cows.
2. ???????
3. PROFIT

DOUJINSHI: You are a little schoolgirl with two cows. A big fat Japanese guy comes out of nowhere, murders your cows and rapes you.

AGNOSTICISM: You might have a cow, and you might not. You just dont know

ENGLANDISM: You have two cows. They are both more appealing then your women (sorry lol)

REALITY: You have no cows and live in your parents basement. Your mother brings you milk.

......FICTIONISM: You have two catgirls. ................And you f**k them.